Is it Rodem? Or Lodem?
Written on January 20, 2010 at 8:12 am, by admin
This might seem a little mean, but I really enjoy how Asians mix up their ‘Ls’ and ‘Rs’ because it’s endless entertainment!
Now that you’ve decided my eternal fate because I’m sooo racist (Alby, anyone?), here’s a little update from across the Pacific.
We started to teach an English Bible Camp here at the church, and to be honest, we’ve pulled most of it out of our butts. None of us are teachers – this is a sociology trip, after all – and so being in the position where we need to make lesson plans and actually get students to learn is quite the challenge. I work with 1st – 3rd graders – they’re easy, because they have short attention spans and if you throw some jello on the floor in front of them, they’ll play with it. Also, I forgot how much fin musical chairs was. Now, when you’re a kid, musical chairs was the best place to go for anxiety attacks – every time the music stopped, your heart dropped into your light-up hi-tops as you sacrificed life and limp to get your butt on a seat. From the perspective of the overseer, the game is great because the kids run around in circles for a while and exhaust themselves to the point that they actually want to sit and listen to a story or color. It’s fantastic.
Now high school, that’s a different story. I don’t know what’s up there. Asian girls can’t seem to think, talk, write, read or eat when I’m around. It’s become rather annoying, because when you’re trying to lead a class of 12 students who barely speak English, they need to do most of those things in order to get anything ot of the class. Most of my time is spent asking questions, and when they finally look up their faces go red and they bury their eyes in their sleeves. Ugh. It sucks to be beautiful. Ha.
Either way, it’s been a completely new experience for me. I kind of like it, but I’m glad I won’t be doing it for the rest of my life. Or maybe I will and this is God’s way of playing some sort of sick joke on me as to how He’s revealing His plan for me. I guess we’ll see.
In other news, as I mentioned last post, I moved in with a new host family. They’re fantastic, and I feel quite comfortable here. Besides the “American” breakfasts of eggs, toast, cereal and sausage, the other nice part about living here is the other “American” named Emily. Now, some back story. On paper, Emily Rhude and I should notget along. I come from a Conservative Republican background and she’s the opposite. We have different friends at school, listen to different music and watch different TV shows. But we’ve become as brother and sister in this awesome Korean penthouse. I was so glad when she agreed to share with me her awesome host family, and now that I’ve been adopted into their family, it really feels like I have a sister. We call our “parents” mommy and daddy, and fold our laundry together… it’s weird really. I get to tell her all about how much I miss my beautiful, graceful, adorable fiance, and she encourages me (after rolling her eyes) by saying that she thinks I’ll make a good husband. Oh, how culture shock can bring people together. It’s been really cool to see us both drop our guards and accept the other for who they are, sans judgement and political affiliation. We respect each other and enjoy the friendship/siblingship (is that a word?) that has been birthed (minus the gross side of birth like the afterbirth).
We have three more days of Engrish Camp before we leave on Monday. I’m looking forward to coming home and seeing all your faces, especially you, Kendralyn Heim. I can’t wait to hold you again!
Be safe, enjoy the close of J-term, and I’ll see you all Monday night. Go Colts.
I am big boy, hot man
Written on January 17, 2010 at 9:40 am, by admin
When I last left you, I was enjoying my travels in Osaka, Japan. Since then, much has happened and I will try to fill you in on the last couple of days. Huzzah!
Japan was an interesting experience. The people, as I believe I mentioned before, are very sad and snippy. They have major attitude problems and their “yes” is a terrifying “HAI!” It’s a major turn off. Anyways, we visited many temples and shrines in Kyoto, a little (ha, well, not by American standards with a population over 1.2 million) town not far from Osaka. We probably walked close to 10 miles while we were in Japan, and I know that doesn’t sound like a lot, but when it’s cold and raining, 10 miles feels like death. Or what I assume to be death. I s’pose I’ll find out some day…
Anyway, our last day in Japan was spent looking for a restaurant that took credit cards. We found one. Awesome. Earlier that day, we went to this place called the Osaka Palace – it was the center of town many hundreds of years ago and was the epicenter of life. The king or whomever lived there was baller-rich because there was gold everywhere. You can see pictures of it on my Facebook. We returned home late on Wednesday night and I trudged back to my home-stay, not wanting to leave my team.
Thursday was a toss-up day because we hadn’t really planned anything “academic” for the day, but ended up doing some stuff anyways. We worked out a Bible-study rotation and worked out some interviews with Pastors and whatnot. I assume we’re going to use that information for a paper or something. Who knows. We did some shopping and ate. It wasn’t much of a day until that night. While I was in Japan, my family decided to move to a new apartment. Nothing fancy – and it was closer to the church. Which meant I had to spend less on subway fares. Pretty cool. Well, apparently, something went missing on Thursday night when I found myself locked out of their apartment. I knocked and knocked, rang the doorbell several times, and called their phones, but to no avail. I was, as my professor so kindly put it, “Sleepless in Seoul.” I went back to to subway station to call my professor, praying he’d pick up. He did, and I spent the night at his place. Needless to say, the church did not find this very acceptable, one of their members locking out an American in the middle of the night. I was told “something” was in the works to fix the situation (which, apparently, they didn’t know anything was wrong). I prayed hard.
Friday came early (actually, every morning comes early when you’re family gets up at 5:30 a.m.) and I went to the church to meet with my team. We went to another large church in Seoul, as well as a beautiful Catholic church. I was also able to purchase some books to read to distract me when I’m alone. I got A Nicholas Sparks book (I can’t remember the title – strange, right?), The Time Traveler’s Wife, and Angels & Demons. I’m a little more than halfway through A&D right now and it’s hard to put down. Friday was rather uneventful otherwise. We interviewed a pastor about what it’s like being a Korean pastor. They’re not much different than American pastors.
Saturday was when everything changed. As usual, I was up at 5:30 a.m. and was fed kim-chi for breakfast. I don’t think I’d ever like to touch the stuff again. My host-family then announced that we will be going to see Avatar today. I thought, “Okay, I can handle that,” and wondered what I would do for the next five (5) hours before we had to leave for the movies. Not an hour later, we were getting ready to leave for our 7:45 a.m.showing of Avatar. Oh, and it was sold out. Awesome. Luckily, it was in English and I could enjoy the movie, and upon returning home I immediately packed up and went to the church a full three (3) hours early because I didn’t want to be at home with my family. They’re very sweet people, they just don’t understand anything. While I was at the church, one of the other host moms came up to me and asked me, in fluent English, to move in with her. I was on cloud nine. The church arranged everything with my ex-family (that sounds so harsh…) and I moved in Saturday night. I haven’t cried since.
Today, Sunday, we spent at church, hanging out with Korean college students. They’re great people. Tomorrow (Monday) begins our English (or Engrish, depending on where you’re from) Bible camp. I’m teaching, for eighty (80) minutes a day, 1st and 2nd graders, and for another hour and twenty minutes high-schoolers. It’s a contrast, but since I’ve never taught anyone a day in my life, let alone Koreans, let alone ENGLISH – I figured I’d be okay. We’ll see how it goes. Please keep that in prayer – all of us are in waaayy over our heads with this, but the church really wants it to be good. They have high expectations of Americans. Let’s give ‘em what we got, ladies.
I miss everyone very much, but since I’ve had a chance to sleep in my new home, I’m not as “homesick” per se. I still want to come home, but I don’t contemplate jumping in front of taxis in order to get medivac’d out of this country. I love you all and appreciate your prayers and e-mails. Keep ‘em coming!
Thanks for reading. See you in a week.
Sorry. I don’t speak Korean.
Written on January 11, 2010 at 6:23 am, by admin
I’m just a big, tall, white dude with clown shoes on.
Right now, I’m sitting in a (pretty sweet) hotel room in Osaka, Japan. It’s a busy little town of over 2 million, and about 30 degrees warmer than Seoul. The last few days have been very… indescribable. Emotions run high while temperatures run low, and I’ve never bowed to so many people in my life. Here’s the trip thus far:
Day 1
Technically, this is almost three days rolled into one. With the time difference, we left for Seoul on Wednesday, January 6th, and landed in Korea on Friday, January 8th. It was only a 15 hour flight, but it’s still hard to get your mind around. I was able to sleep a bit on the plane between watching movies and playing what looked like a DOS-version of golf or something. They actually gave me a metal knife with my meal, which I thought a bit bizarre – granted it could hardly cut my pancakes, let alone someone’s throat. Our flight landed a few minutes before 6:00 a.m. and we met up with some people from Yum Kwang Presbyterian Church who drove us two hours through Seoul to meet our host families. My family is nice – they speak about as much English as I do Korean, so we don’t have many fireside chats. Come to think of it, they don’t have a living room, let alone a fireplace. The floors in their home are heated (which is sweet) and the commode has electronic buttons that let you control the water pressure and whatnot. I kicked the son out of his room (I can’t for the life of me remember his name) and I sleep on his Pokemon pillow every night. I’ve also cried on Pikachu’s lap every night. The home-stay part of this trip has been very draining on me. On any given day, I had to be an intrusion, and when you throw me, heavily sleep-deprived in a new country where nobody speaks my language and where hospitality is linked to your strength as a Christian, I tend to get even more emotional and tend to stress out a lot. I’ve never been this homesick in my life, but am able to relieve some of the pain when I’m with my team (who are fantastic, by the way). After a short nap in my Korean-sized bed, we went to a welcome banquet at a traditional Korean restaurant. We sat on the (heated) floor and ate Kim-chi and something that translates close to “boiled vegetables and meats”. I even ate a mussel, which was, moments earlier, squirming alive in front of me. I went to bed early that night and woke up promptly at 4:30 a.m. by my host-mother, who woke me up for early-morning service. There was evening and morning.
Day 2
This was probably the worst start to a good day I’ve ever had. Early morning service is at 5:30 a.m. and I fought off tears of exhaustion for all 2.5 hours of the service. I took a short nap before meeting my team (thank God) at 9:30 for a tour of Seoul. Giving the tour were three students from the church, one (whose Korean name I forget) was Jonathan. He is probably my most favorite person in all of Seoul, perhaps Korea. He is currently learning English and is a senior in high school. He wants to go to Taylor next year and works very hard to practice his English. Most students here go to school for about 13 hours a day, some of which so to “English-school” afterwards. Korea takes their education very seriously. Jonathan is hysterical. We’ve been teaching him some slang and how to “pound-it” which he eats up. He says his Korean friends are very jealous because he gets to hang out with us. We kind of feel like celebrities. The church has been extremely hospitable, paying for meals, subway rides, tickets to the Korean National Museum (which is absolutely gorgeous) and many other things. We saw the K. N. Museum before lunch, which took us to an Indian Cuisine restaurant in the middle of a huge shopping district. Here I had my first Korean Coke (it was beautiful) and some spicy chicken curry dish. While we’ve only been here for a few days, it has felt like weeks and any sort of comfort food (like McDonald’s) is a welcomed treat. (Sidenote: Jonathan successfully learned to say “Hey Bro. Pound it. Let’s get some Mickey D’s”. We are joyous.) Our tour of Seoul continued, and took us to this gigantic underground shopping mall (the name of which I cannot remember – this happens quite often to me) where we walked past hundreds of stores and shops that all featured some latest fashion. The Korean fashion is very, very trendy. Think Apple trying to be trendier than Apple – it’s insane. Lucky for them, Asians can pull off just about any look, whether it’s scene, gothic, trendy, hippie, preppy, 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s… they can do it all and look good doing it! It’s not fair, really. Which leads me to another interesting point – I’ve seen two (2) people here that one might qualify as “overweight”. It’s such a slim culture! I mean, they eat rice and cabbage every day and walk everywhere. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. We ate dinner at some place whose name I can’t remember (are you seeing a pattern here?) and I officially became a master of the chop sticks. Seriously, give me a pait and I’ll show you how it’s done. After dinner we went home and I was scolded by my host-mother for being “late”. Ahh, just like home. I cried myself to sleep.
Day 3
Sunday was an interesting day, mostly because we spent the entire day at the church. We attended 2 services, the first being the main service, and the second being the college service. Two main points here: 1) Singing the same worship song in two different languages is one of the most powerful things I’ve ever experienced. 2) Korean prayers remind me of speaking in tongues. All that hibbity-bibbity with intense emotional inflections is a little rattling, but still gave me chills. I wonder if, when Koreans speak in tongues, they speak English? Food for thought. Following the college service, the team and I joined an English Bible Study. This was a lot of fun because the students who lead it are learning English and have a strong desire to practice. We studied Matt. 6 and shared testimonies. It was pretty cool. After that we joined the EBS students for dinner at this fabulous little place simply called “Mr. Pizza.” Honestly, it’s some of the best pizza I have ever tasted. They have all kinds of different varieties of pizza, and some even have sweet potato crust! You can get your basic pepperoni, sausage or supreme if you want, OR you can get another (forget the name) that has Cajun Chicken, vegetables, Sweet Potato Crust and a sweet glaze! Mmmph. I went to bed early, after having a spot’o'tea with my host family. Mr. Korean-dad is a policeman and likes to smile, but knows absolutely no English. I was in bed by 10:00 p.m. in order to get up at 4:30 a.m. for my flight to Japan. My host-mother couldn’t understand that I needed to leave by 5:15 a.m., so she made sure I was at the church at 5:15 a.m. which gave me about an hour to wait for the rest of my team to show up. Oh, the joys.
Day 4
Today has been rather slow paced, yet exciting. Our flight out of Seoul was delayed 2-hours due to fog, and we arrived in Japan around 12:30 p.m. I was craving American food, so we stopped for McDonald’s and Subway before getting on a train that took us to Osaka. We had dinner at this little Japanese place where they cook the food right in front of you. It’s not the kind you’re thinking of – this one was potato-pancake style. You choose a meat, and they slap it into a big pancake thing and drizzle it with this sweet BBQ-like sauce. It was pretty good. The Japanese Yen is more than the dollar, and I’m pretty sure my pancake and Coke came out to about $16 USD. Oh well. It’s the price of traveling, I suppose. Our hotel is sweet. It feels like an Italian Villa, and I took a relaxing bath. THe powder I sprinkled in made the water look like Mountain Dew, but my my was it relaxing. I also managed to ruin my iPod headphones by dropping one of the earbuds into the water. Sigh. One still works, thankfully. I’ll just go deaf in one ear, I s’pose. I’m also wearing a robe called something I can’t remember (ha!) and some slippers that would probably be small on my mother. My toes stick out a little bit. I want the whole experience, so sue me. It’s only about 8:30 p.m. and I think we’ll probably go to bed soon. I need a good night’s sleep. The Lord knows I haven’t slept more than 5 hours a night since I’ve been here. Praise God for the Internet, too. This might be my one and only post, depending on when I have access (and time) to a computer with an connection to the rest of the world.
Anyways, I appreciate your prayers as I battle homesickness and miscommunication-galore. Thanks for reading. I miss you all.
God’s sense of irony…
Written on December 10, 2009 at 12:21 am, by admin
There’s some back-story to this one.
I attend Taylor University in The-Middle-of-Nowhere, Indiana. Even in a small town such as Upland, somehow the caste system finds its way into the hearts and minds of Christ-following college students. I am ashamed to admit that I, too, have claimed a stake in the ground of popularity and wanting to “be somebody” here on campus.
Lately, I’ve been really hit hard with a feeling of hatred towards those who seem to hold the spotlight. I’ve accused them of being fake, puppets and hypocrites. If you’re one of those people reading this right now, I need to apologize.
How ironic, then, is my God? He not only shows me the deceit in my own heart, but on top of that, leads me directly to a verse in His word that speaks directly to my heart, and into my situation.
In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we’re talking about is Christ’s body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn’t amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t.
-Romans 12:4-6 (The Message)
Are you as shocked as I am? How convicting! The passage goes on to say:
Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”
-Romans 12:19 (The Message)
I had a long time of venting with two of my best friends in the entire world this evening, and I went on and on about how I do so much for this campus and work my tail off for what? Recognition? I don’t do it for the pat-on-the-back, but I secretly desire it! And I’m envious of those that receive the glory – how corrupt is my heart?!
I had to sit down and write this, because God’s timing couldn’t be more perfect right now. My life is a stressful mess and I don’t even have the time to sit down and cry. But I’m stressed because my focus is off – my eyes aren’t on what God created me to be. I’m more focused on why things aren’t going the way I planned! I’ll never be someone other than me, and if you don’t like me for who I am, as I am, then have a nice life – I’m done trying to please you and your standards. I’m done being someone I’m not. Who I am is a son of the Living God, the Wellspring of Life and the Creator of All Things. There are too many influences in the world telling us who we need to be, how we need to look or what we need to do to be “good enough”. I’m telling you that I already am good enough, and My Father accepts me as I am, for who He created me to be, imperfections and all. That’s the meaning of love – it’s not trying to change someone to fit your qualifications or aspirations, but caring for them as they are, as God made them.
Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.
-Romans 12:9-10
I hope this little bit-o-inspiration speaks to you as it has me. I encourage you to read this passage from the beginning. Here, I’ll make it easy on you. CLICK HERE.
Thanks for reading.
biblical manhood
Written on November 22, 2009 at 9:57 pm, by admin
Today I listened to my first podcast by Pastor Mark Driscoll out of Mars Hill in Seattle. I honestly went in not expecting anything significant. By the looks of their Web site, they’re a very relevant and trendy church, and I figured the topic of choice was going to be another happy-go-lucky sermon about how we’re God’s children and we need to be men of Christ, blah blah blah.
Boy was I wrong.
I was blown away. I’ve never listened to a podcast and had tears come to my eyes. Tears of anger, of grief, of fear, of shame – and it all happened so fast.
If you’ve never listened to Driscoll, he has a raspy sort of voice, one that the local community baseball team coach might have. He has a great sense of humor and speaks with fervor and intentionality. And the man can yell.
The sermon was entitled “Trial: Marriage and Men” and began as a survey of how most men are, for whatever reason, either too masculine or not masculine enough. More often than not, men follow the examples they were given growing up (ex. fathers, pastors, uncles, etc.) and our society has played so far into men’s heads that they just give up. Driscoll repeatedly called the men in the audience idiots. He prefaced the sermon by claiming that this was a message for men, not for women, and that as men, we could take it.
His thesis was that we need to follow in the example of Christ in order to truly be a man. He used references from Genesis to illustrate how our descent from Adam has played into our roles as men. He made the point that, while society tells us that men’s and women’s roles are equal and that neither has dominion over the other, society is wrong. Not that men and women aren’t equal in and of themselves, but his is the belief that men are the hunters and the breadwinners, and the wives are the supporters and the nurturers. Both roles are equally as important and without one, the other cannot function. He said that there are very few exceptions to this rule (ie. husband is paralyzed, etc). The fact is simple: if you are unable t provide for a family, you are unfit to have a family.
It’s plain and simple.
And so many of us men are living our lives as a lie! We’re so caught up in ourselves or other things that we lose sight of what God wants for us – of what He’s destined us to become.
The truth of this hits home to me because of how I’ve been failing in this area. I’m not actively seeking God every day. I’m not treating God’s daughters (my sisters in Christ) in a respectful way. I’m a joke. I’m not fit to be called a man – and as for my future, let’s hope that I turn things around.
This podcast literally changed my life – and I’m usually the skeptical one about these things. If you’re a dude and are looking for some purpose and regardless of what you think about the roles of men and women – give this a try.
some will seek forgiveness, others escape
Written on November 9, 2009 at 2:08 pm, by admin
I heard a voice through the discord
A deluge of passersby
I saw one gaze frozen in time
Watching me passing by
And I swear I’ll know your face in the crowd
And I’ll hear your voice so loud
When you’re whispering
Hey unfaithful I will teach you
To be stronger, to be stronger
Hey ungraceful I will teach you
To forgive one another.
Here’s my kiss to betray
Desperate to brush the lips of grace
Do you feel hollow when you think of how I lied?
Oh sweet angel of mercy
With your grace like the morning
Wrap your loving arms around me
Oh sweet angel of mercy
With your grace like the morning
Wrap your loving arms around me
Hey unfaithful I will teach you
To be stronger, to be stronger
Hey ungraceful I will teach you
To forgive one another
Hey unfaithful I will teach you
To be stronger, to be stronger
Hey unloving
I will love you
I will love you
I will love you
And Jesus I’m ready to come home
Jesus, I’m ready to come home
Home
I’m ready to come
Hey Unfaithful
Hey Ungraceful
Hey Unloving
I will love you
Hey Unloving
I will love you
Obama-rama blag
Written on November 3, 2009 at 11:27 pm, by admin
You know – I’m not really one to get into political debates. I have my convictions and I stand by them. I know what I believe and why, and I don’t need presidential debates or newspaper comics to tell me any different. I look at people. If what they say lines up with what they do, then I accept them as people of their word and they have therefore earned my respect. What I don’t like is people who say one thing and then turn around and do something else. I think they call that hypocrisy. And it especially pushes my buttons when someone belittles one thing, says they’ll do another, wait a while, and then do the very thing they denounced! It’s like that guy in your group of friends who says he dislikes a certain girl because she has an annoying voice and even participates in the fun of imitating her. He says he’s into this other girl, who has nice features and a voice that doesn’t scratch at your eardrums. The next thing you know, this dude is engaged to the Fran Drescher from upstairs with a big stupid smile on his face and he just shrugs. Hypocrisy is the lowest form of lying a person can achieve, short of blasphemy, and we’d be stupid to trust people like this.
The problem I’m seeing in America is this sort of blind trust we’re instilling in our leaders. Most people will automatically assume I’m referencing Obama here, but please don’t think I’m singling him out. He’s part of a vast majority of people in this country that are using us to their advantage. Now, even though I didn’t vote for Mr. Obama, I continue to pray for him and his administration. I think it’s a great step in our country to have a half-black man sitting behind the desk in the Oval Office. My struggles lie within the “political correctness” and hypocrisy I see being birthed from his presidency. He chooses his words very carefully, and people seem to eat up whatever he says. He’s adopted/reinstated Bush policies that he claimed he would admonish. It’s almost as if he assumed it was a stupid idea, and once he was sworn in was like, “Oh. He had it right. Dang.” Truth be told- I’m scared that my children will be born into a United States that is no longer the great republic it once was, but a morphed, emaciated, socialistic swarm of lies and debt.
I’m not up on all my figures, stats and numbers. I don’t know what was said word-for-word at the last press conference or what kind of cologne he wears. But if I can do anything, it’s read people. And I don’t trust him. His words are honey sweet with a glint in his eye, and all the “rags to riches” nonsense is beginning to make me sick. He was born in Hawaii, went to a private college prep school from grade five until he graduated and later attended both Columbia and Harvard. He’s had it made since he was young. Is he bright? Undoubtedly so. He’s an exceptional speaker and relates well to any audience. And therein lies the problem. When people meet someone like that and throw all their political eggs in one basket, there’s bound to be conflict.
The most upsetting part about politics like this is the emotional attachment people seem to take towards their leader of choice. Shortly after Obama was elected I was called a racist and “whitey” simply because I would not announce over our library intercom system about the President’s victory. After reading several (okay, many) discussions about people’s opinions, I’m not surprised to find them riddled with comments filled with strong, emotional language and people defending their own point of view. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for talking through things and coming to a logical, agreed upon conclusion. I’m also okay with the whole “agree to disagree” thing. But I don’t want to be personally attacked for believing something! Is that fair? To condemn me because I believe differently than you – where’s the political correctness in that? And the fact that Christians – those of us who are to be a light to this world – are stooping to slanderous levels because they feel like they’re being attacked and need to defend themselves with facts and figures ablaze.
Take a chill pill, people.
It’s just life! Why must we make everything so complicated? Why can’t we stick to the basics? Love God and people – nothing else matters! Not the fact that Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize only days after being sworn in, nor the fact that George W. Bush was terrible at public speaking. It’s all bologna, and we know it. We’re just too stubborn to let it go. Like that guy whose home team lost the game and is looking for excuses. “Yeah, but the refs were making terrible calls, and so-and-so’s leg was hurt and blahblahblahblahblah.”
Life doesn’t have to be like this!
“Be still and know that I am God.” (Ps. 46:10)
I can’t believe I sat here and wrote all of this. I guess this is my political post of the century. I hope you enjoyed it. And if you’re going to comment, please keep in mind that I don’t really care.
Thanks for reading – stay blessed.
Oh, the ups and downs and… sides… blag.
Written on October 20, 2009 at 10:48 pm, by admin
What can I say? Life is just too hectic for me. All those variables and emotions and feelings and thoughts and what-ifs and possibilities and opportunities and failures and successes… life is nuts. I will say this, however, that life is not as I expected it, nor am I who I thought I’d be. A senior in college? Please. Give me a break. (I could really go for a Kit-Kat right now…) I always pictured myself as some hot-shot stud-muffin with witty catch phrases, a nice haircut and abs to boot. In reality, I’m more of an average guy who usually stutters his way through conversations and could stand to run a few miles and do a few crunches. That’s when I decided to have a nice little lifestyle change. I did some research and found a nice little diet that let’s me eat pretty good, and isn’t that much extra work. Basically, it’s a four week program that teaches you to watch what you eat. For the first week, I am to make a healthy breakfast consisting of oatmeal, eggs, bran/fiber cereal – something healthy – and the rest of my meals can be whatever I want. During the second week, I have a healthy breakfast and lunch, and dinner and snack are on me. Week three means I get to have a healthy snack of nuts or something – maybe a granola bar – and dinner is on me. When week four hits I’m on an all healthy diet. Now, the trick is to not only eat healthy food, but also to watch my portion sizes. When I’m chowing on something delish, I like to go back for seconds. But to drop those first few pounds, I need to only eat the recommended daily allotment. BUT THERE IS HOPE, dear friends! I, Joshua Bryce Kennedy, get to have one “naughty” 120-calorie snack every day! That’s like six M&Ms! Or half a Hershey’s bar! Huzzah!
So anyways, we’ll see how this diet goes. In addition to eating healthier, I am changing my sleeping habits to get out and exercise during the morning hours. You know, start the day off right! Since I’m not a huge fan of jogging (and Indiana’s weather shalln’t permit that much longer anyway, with subzero temperatures only days away) I’ll probably get over to the gym and do my thang. I think this calls for some new shorts. Maybe Under Armour. Nah.
Finding My Place In This Blag
Written on September 7, 2009 at 10:34 pm, by admin
I had the opportunity lately to really reflect on my life, future and relationships. I didn’t really like what I saw, to be honest. A little of this, a lot of that, some of this, some of that – but not enough of something so crucial, so evident in everyday life, that I’m amazed that I’ve lasted this long. I have difficulty pursuing God. And you know what? I sometimes skip church and don’t feel guilty about it. Oh, and another thing. I don’t feel led to be a full-time missionary in another country. I know, right? *GASP!* What am I going to do with my life? Can God still use me, even if I don’t want my Facebook page riddled with pictures of me wearing a bandanna while hugging impossibly thin little children?
The Taylor “community” (emphasis sarcastic) is full of expectations to be in the mission field, and I feel like I’m somehow a bad Christian for not feeling like God is leading me there. Some submit that I just haven’t been praying hard enough about it. To be honest, I think that if God wanted me in the mission field, He would have given me a passion for it. I come from the school of thought where your entire life is your mission field. Every move you make, step you take and breath you breathe is part of your work as a missionary. The worst part about this isn’t the fact that I’m less confused about God’s will for my life – it’s the fact that I feel like I’m committing a cardinal sin by not having any remote desire to be a full time missionary overseas. Am I opposed to traveling and helping people and sharing the Gospel? Of course not, but why do I feel like I’m somehow less of a man of God because I’d like to live in a three-bedroom house in the U.S. and have a 9 – 5 job?
My point in the rant is not to rag on my alma mater. Taylor is a great school with a fantastic vision for their students. I do, however, have a problem with this “community” business they throw around. Never have I experienced such a grand dichotomy between what’s real and what’s seen. From the outside, Taylor is this quaint little school in the middle of nowhere with a fun president and a terrible football team. After living here for three years, I’ve come to realize that their perspective on the unity of the students is about as real as Gerard Butler’s American accent. True community, as described by our school, is the central unity and communication of its members, depending on one another and holding each other up and being accountable. I agree. Does it exist? In certain areas and after much searching, yes. Nine out of ten people are willing to ask, “How are you doing?” and follow it up with “I’ll be praying for you.” I’d be hard pressed to believe that a quarter of them actually follow through on their promise. I know I don’t always pray for the people I say I will. Maybe it’s just a comfort thing; like “God Bless You” or “Get Well Soon.” In the end, they’re just empty words unless you act upon them. A good friend buys soup and medicine for his sick friend. A good friend prays for those he cares about. I’d be lying if I said I was practicing good community. I’m 1/1800th of the problem we face on this campus. The truth is, in my reflecting on my life, I’ve realized this about myself. I’ve realized that I need to be intentional about my intentions. I need to follow through. Enough empty words and smoke. Enough well wishes and pointless actions. Let’s do something about this. I know I’m not alone.
Updates and whatnot
Written on July 19, 2009 at 4:46 pm, by admin
I’ve been keeping pretty busy lately. I mean – relatively, anyway. My internship is on its last leg – I have only three weeks left before I get to spend some time at home. I return to school on the 26th of August and from there I have nine months until I’m a free man. I’m terrified. I know it’ll be an exciting time and that I’m stepping into the next phase of my life, but at the same time, I’m beginning to wonder just how well I’ve been prepared for getting a job, raising a family, paying bills and having real responsibilities. It’s daunting.
The scariest part thus far has been the job search. I know I have a good deal of time before I need to land a career, but I’m still in that stage of expecting my first job to be my only job. At least, I’d like to make enough money to save a bit while at the same time not want to call in sick every morning because I hate my work. Thus this new website. It’s been a few weeks in the making, and it’s not quite done yet – hardly any of my projects are ever “completely” done – I always see room for improvement. Regardless, I hope that this will give me a small “one-up” on the competition and help me find a good job after school.
Besides that, I think I’m getting sick, which is always nice. We’ll see. Bring on the Vitamin C.